6 signs you are in a Relationship with a Narcissist

A lot of people nowadays have heard of a Narcissist but what does it actually mean and how do you know you are in a relationship with one?

What is a Narcissist?

Wikipedia defines narcissism as:

“Narcissism is a self-centered personality style characterised as having an excessive preoccupation with oneself and one's own needs, often at the expense of others”

And the Oxford Dictionary defines a narcissist as:

“a person who has an excessive interest in or admiration of themselves” "narcissists who think the world revolves around them"

So when you look at this definition you can see that being in a relationship with a narcissist could cause a lot of issues as for example, if you are self centred it makes it harder to have a relationship as you can only think of yourself. You would not take the other person into account whilst having a relationship, you would just think of yourself.

Here are the 6 signs that you are in a relationship with a Narcissist.

1)They have a need for excessive admiration.

Because a narcissist has an excessive interest in themselves, in a relationship this would look like the need for excessive admiration from whoever they are in a relationship with. They would have a constant need for external admiration to match their beliefs about themselves. This would force the other person to put them on a pedestal, which would not make a balanced or healthy relationship.

2)Lack of Empathy

Because a Narcissist is centred around their own needs they usually don’t have the ability or desire to understand the needs and feelings of their partner. Usually this then means that the narcissist needs are always met and their feelings are taken into account in the relationship but your needs are never met and your feelings are never validated. Over time this would make the other person feel invalidated and probably angry and frustrated.

3)Gaslighting & Emotional Manipulation

If you are in a relationship with a narcissist one sign is that they can also gaslight you and emotionally manipulate you. Gaslighting is defined in the Oxford Dictionary as “the practice of psychologicallymanipulating someone into questioning their own sanity, memory, or powers of reasoning”.

This means they may do things like denying something never happened when it did. This type of manipulation can be very damaging to the other person and their mental health, in the long term a they could end up always questioning themselves.

They may also use other emotional manipulation such as emotional blackmail, blaming and triangulation. If you are a people pleaser and/or Empath then it may be easier for the narcissist to gaslight and emotionally manipulate you. If you are a people pleaser then you would not want to cause any conflict so would tend to agree with the narcissist, which makes it easy for them to manipulate you.

4)Sense of Entitlement

A big sign that you are in a relationship with a narcissist is when they always have a sense of entitlement in the relationship no matter what. They belief they are special and superior, so feel they are the important one and have all the entitlements in the relationship. This means that your needs will never be met.

5)Lack of Accountability

Another way you know you are in a relationship with a narcissist is if they never take accountability for anything in the relationship. Even when they are in the wrong a narcissist will never admit it and a lot of times will try and put the blame on you instead. This can be very frustrating in a relationship as you will feel that you are always in the wrong and that your partner never is in the wrong. This makes the relationship unbalanced and is a sign of a toxic relationship.

6)Devaluing & Discarding

When a person devalues you or discards you in a relationship this can be a sign that you are in a relationship with a narcissist. They can do this when they feel you have not met their expectations, they might start devaluing you by making you feel not good enough. For example, by criticising you or ignoring you when you don’t do what they want. A narcissist can also discard you easily. If they feel you are no longer meeting their needs then they will discard you.

So if you have all of these signs in your relationship then it is likely that you are in a relationship with a narcissist or even some of the signs. If you are experiencing these signs it can be very painful for the person in the relationship with a narcissist, because is affects every part of their life but in a negative way. They can be left feeling confused, exhausted, low self-esteem, depressed, anxious and physically and emotionally burned out.

Steps you can take once you realise you are in a relationship with a narcissist-

•Acknowledge and recognise that your partner is a Narcissist.

•Seek professional support

•Acknowledge how your mental health is affected negatively due to the relationship.

•Access whether the relationship is right for you or not.

You can also experience narcissism in your family as it can be passed down through generations. If you want to learn more check out my blog post Narcissistic family members.